September 26, 2006

My Identity?

I have been asked this question several times in many different forms; to know my caste/language/origin/religion etc. Mostly I end up answering a word or two to close the topic. But this time in Chennai, I was totally thrown off balance when some one asked “Which country are you from?”. J

This made me mull over the very purpose behind such questions. And what I could come up with is that mostly it is an attempt to CLASSIFY me in some defined category to ascertain my traits; in another word, to associate me with certain STEREOTYPES.

But, do all these factors really define me as a person! Let me ponder:

By nationality I’m an Indian and yet I have not exercised the most important and fundamental right granted to me i.e. of voting and contrary to most of the westerners’ assumption about Indians, I’m a religious non-vegetarian (many people here too think that I must be a vegetarian [probably judging from my appearance]). Moreover, I do not share my views on many issues of national interest with most of my countrymen.

My mother tongue is Hindi and it has been the medium of education for the major period of my life, but it’s been years I have read a Hindi newspaper or written a full page in the language. And as of now, probably, I can write Tamil (script only) with the same level of comfort.

Being a Hindu in itself mandate me to find a unique identity of my own, following my own distinct path to the Light and allows me to reject anything which I personally do not believe in.

Owing it to my caste, though I am not entitled to the benefits of reservation, still I strongly believe that due to the actions perpetrated over the past several centuries, it is very much indispensable for the collective good.

And this may raise some eyebrows J; though I am born and have been brought up as a male of the human species, a small but significant part of my psyche is essentially feminine.

And in the end to substantiate my point, most of the people I meet, identify me as someone from Bengal, Haryana or even form Andhra and hardly able to connect me to my actual place of birth.


rashmi said...

do you mean to say that you are partly a woman. strange ;)

@di said...


yup, i do accept that a significant part of my psyche is feminine. not accepting that would mean doing away with one of my biggest strength.

let's try to see what does it mean.

though each [mostly ;-)] of us have been physically well defined as male or female by nature, at psychological level that rigid line do not exist.

look around yourself; among your female friends. you are sure to find someone who does not rush to cry over a shoulder the moment they are in some trauma; rather they handle it themselves and handle it well. it's a self heeling mechanism [i wonder if this is real or most of us just pretend to do that :-)] mostly attributed to males.

among your guy friends you may find someone who is more compassionate, more sensitive than what is stereotypically expected.

each one of us inside has traits of the opposite sex. many time our upbringing/society forces [and mostly succeeds] us to suppress it, but in the process we do ourselves more harm than good

so, i not just only accept it, i work consciously to strengthen it.

i do it because it helps me to build and maintain better relations with girls/women around me without falling in love with each of them.

because it makes me a better listener

because it makes me to have a better eye contact during conversations [even with girls ;-)]

because i can ask direction when i'm not sure [well not always though, but that is a different story :-)]

because i do not need to pretend to know everything

because it helps me to multitask.

because it helps me to cope up with stress in a better way.

well, the list is endless...

so what i'm meant here is that you just can't typecast me saying "aah... after all he's a man and hence...".

hope i made myself understood.

Abirami R said...

lemme guess!someone asked if you were an Indian looking at your hair-do,rite?about time you had that haircut.And btw,it's a beautiful blog.

Abirami R said...

I can't count the number of times I've been coming back to this particular post and the comment No.2.And funnily enough,every time I do come here,this post looks a shade more beautiful.